Kardiatype: Exploration of What Was and Still Is

Kardiatype or Emperiatype

A past life which experiences had such an impact on you that it wholly or partly formed your core identiy and personality, even to this day, in such a way that it differs from your past life identity/personality, therefore making you NOT identify as the being from your past life anymore.

My core identity is spiritual in nature. What I identify as today is based on past life experiences, but I still identify as those creatures today; they frame how I see myself and my actions. A kardiatype, even though it is also a spiritual identity, feels different.

My kardiatypes feel different from my kintypes in that the former is complete. I left that behind, it's done, finished, over, and in my cases, I succeeded at whatever I was doing. Nothing carried over into me today except the memories and emotions that I had experienced then. While, yes, that's very important to me still, it's no longer me. As a goddess, I carried everything that made me, me, on into me today. As an Indoraptor, it somehow still carried on into me today. It feels unfinished, with no closure.

I have no good explanation as to why, but it's how I differentiate the two 'types.

One of my kardiatypes is a Survivor from ARK: Survival Evolved, a survival crafting game. It's easy enough for one to say "you're hyperfixating on a video game, you're just identifying that way because of your obsession." Recently, my computer capable of playing the game crashed. I hadn't been able to play the game for about a month, and the break from it had been good on analyzing my kardiatype, as I was forced to disengage with the media.

Before my computer crashed, I had begun analyzing whether it was a kintype due to several similarities, habits, and instincts that I had noticed and begun to attribute to my kardiatype. But the several degrees of separation from the game allowed me to really sit and consider and accept the lack of feeling like being an Awakened Managarmr. I came to understand that the continued biases and opinions from that life bleeding over into this one, doesn't have to mean that I still identify as the kinsidered thing. But it also made me realize that I still had those thoughts, biases, opinions, and instincts, and they formed a part of my identity even into today.

This understanding helped me also finally and firmly label my faehunter 'type as a kardiatype. For a long time, I'd been trying to analyze that as well, but the overwhelming biased instincts from that 'type had made it really difficult to relegate to "just an important past life", regardless of how little I actually identified as a fae hunting creature in this life. Figuring out my Survivor kardiatype makes that so much easier to accept.

Understanding the Kardiatype

My kinsidering has been somewhat long in the making. On Sept. 28th, 2021 I had a hit of dejavu that I described as: "Y'know how it feels to have dejavu, but like.. you recognize it as you've done it before in this life? I feel like I said it in a different life." I was asked "you aren't a dino from ARK, were you?" and I replied, "No. I think I was a survivor. I got the hit of dejavu when I said 'C'mon Ducky' and turned my spino. In that instance, I recognised the spino and the words as mine. Its like I knew the spino intimiately, as a close friend. I knew its quirks, it's personality, far beyond what game mechanics are capable of. ...Is that why spino is my favorite dino??? Is that why I'm so chill with being human now--I've been one before???"

In September of 2022, we got access to mods for the game, including one that allowed the player character to change their appearance with parts from the animals within the game. On Dec. 12th of 2022, I created my Awakened Managarmr skin and became attached to it. On Dec. 28th, 2022, I decided to draw this creature and immediately realized that the cameo shifts of a mana muzzle and my permanent phantom long, pointed ears were both attributed to this form, and from there I created a list of instinct, biases, and opinions that were all explained by my discovery:

  • Random and very brief feelings of being robotic/being interested in technology
  • Always being weirded out I envisioned myself breathing ice instead of fire when I played pretend as a kid
  • My long, elven-like phantom ears and obsession with long eared characters when I was younger (and still enjoy them over human ears)
  • Random wishes that I was furry and not scaled/wish I was a dog or wolf
  • Random expression with lips when my other kintypes dont have proper mammalian lips
  • ?Possibly part of the obsession I had with black dogs while trying to figure out my faehunter type?
  • Overlaps with goddess for feelings of being naturally floating/?interest in iron man???
  • Blue/black as my primary color scheme??
  • Very likely the actual origin of my draconic feelings.
  • Why suicune and reshiram are two of my favorite pokemon--refer to the images I've provided here; it looks like I smashed them together

I've also had some random bits of knowledge pop up, in context of information I shouldn't know, such as:

Me, two weeks ago: I wonder what that is, theres nothing on it
Me, today, out of the blue: That was a street map. Not like an ad billboard, but like the store guides in the mall
Also me, today: Wait what the fuck how do I know that.

I suspect I evolved into a sapient creature by harnessing the Element that tried to corrupt me (just like any other managarmr) but evolved up to the point the ARKs went "yup, that's a human" and slung me to the Island to begin the ARK trials.

I couldn't process Element the same way a feral mana could, so I couldn't utilize it like them either, so I would supplement it with Tek armor, of which I understood intimately, but without understanding how I knew.

Element, in its purest form, is like a hive mind. Like... a mycelium almost. But, we know it can "mature"--we see it in element nodes. It becomes stable, inert, safe to use by non-elemental creatures. Humans found a way to utilize it, even going so far as containing the immature, pure element into sections that can mature quickly.

Element-harnessing creatures like mana, owl, and velos, evolved to purify, mature, and then utilize element within their bodies. There isn't enough information in the lore on how or what Homo Deus are, other than they're "energy beings". We know they're not made of "Element" but I feel like somehow they're connected.

Talking about my kardiatype as a survivor, and being an Awakened specimen of a (in game) still extant feral species, somehow makes me feel less weird about talking about myself and the feral specimens as being the same. I don't have to deal with the awkwardness of "that was me before, but I'm still me now??" which is way weirder as I think about it.